What is push pressure and how do you deal with it?

Mary is leaving because she’s expecting a baby. A gift card is brought into the office for everyone to sign. The office busybody stands by your side to make sure you write something acceptable and don’t delay. She’s also there to make sure you put money into her collection jar!

What is your response? You could set the gift card aside and postpone your decision by saying, “I’ll do it later.” But the office busybody will say. “Do it now!” You will feel pressured. This is push pressure.

What is push pressure and how do you deal with it?

Push pressure comes from time constraint. The office busybody stands beside you, annoyingly clicking her pen. A few others stand nearby, shuffling around. You need to act in under 30 seconds. People are tut-tutting! They are waiting for you to act!

Society puts pressure on individuals to fill vacant spaces of time (spatial pressure). That’s why you feel ‘rushed’ when you’re shopping. Or why you feel a call or text must be answered ASAP.

The office busybody will point a manicured finger at the gift card and apply more push pressure. The longer you leave it, the worse the pressure will be! It's the same suffocating pressure a student experiences when asked to write a dissertation. It’s the same awful pressure a teen experiences when told to 'tidy the room!'

Peers exert pressure to push conformity (peer pressure.) And what happens when you give-in to their pressure? The office busybody will be delighted… she’ll offer a smile. She’ll be smugly confident you’ll be easily conquered in the future. The pushy shop assistant will arrive with another item for you to try. The text you felt ‘forced’ to reply to will become another line, and that additional line will turn into a never-ending drama that fills your entire evening.

Push pressure also comes from unrealistic expectations you have about yourself (self pressure). Do you push yourself to reach goals that are not really necessary? Free yourself from the burden of self-imposed pressure. It’s sometimes better to release and move on.

Here are some simple ways to cope with push pressure.

Whenever we talk about an involuntary or supposedly compulsory time limit, we use the term “deadline.” But deadlines aren’t actually ‘deadly’ are they? Unless you are a telecoms engineer, or a mountaineer, or an angler. What is a deadline for a telecommunications engineer? It's the wire section that does not produce any buzzing electrical energy. What is a deadline for a mountaineer? It's the part of her rope that’s not secured to the rock. What's a deadline for an angler? It’s the thread that doesn’t have a fish twisting on the end. What’s a deadline for you? It's a silly person begging you to fill a vacant space in time!

Deadlines aren’t life-or-death! Take a breather. Calm yourself. Do exercise. Take air.

Set realistic timeframes that empower you; it’s about reclaiming control, not delaying. Tell the office busybody to come back after lunch!

Keep a diary, keep notes, keep abreast of what’s going on. Keep a calendar. Control your time and ditch the deadlines.

Take charge of the vacant moments in your life and use them to practice self-care. Let your mind wander within the blank spaces you're given.

The thoughts of the office busybody (or anyone else) hold no significance. Breathe deeply and ignore the opinions of self-proclaimed critics. Your judges might be parents, teachers, siblings, supervisors, spouses, even friends. Your time is not controlled by them. Your time is under your control. Manage the blank spaces for yourself!

Any thoughts? Let me know your ideas and suggestions and share comments below.